Please welcome our guest blogger – Jessica Barksdale Inclan!

The Love Chase 

Last December in a heap of end-of-the holiday rubble, my fiancé Michael and I watched a string of extremely bad movies.  Visitors finally gone, the guest room sheets in the wash, we sort of let ourselves be taken over by things that were definitely worse than anything we have ever experienced.    Both movies were about the end of the world as we know it, or, at least, the end of business as usual:  The Happening and Doomsday, a truly, very, absolutely awful British movie with Bob Hoskins and a lot of stunt doubles.  Actually, Doomsday was an amalgam of Escape to New York, Braveheart, The Road Warrior, and Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia.

The Happening is an M. Night Shyamalan movie, one of his several since The Sixth Sense that haven’t made sense or good watching.  And yet, I’ve seen all his movies, so I clearly have no sixth sense about anything.  In fact–and I hate to even admit this–I’ve seen The Happening twice. 

In any case, there is nothing to report back from this viewing adventure worth talking about except for one conversation in The Happening.  The characters Alma, Elliot, and Jesse are sitting at the table with a character played by Betty Buckley.  The character is crazy older woman who has lost her mind, long before the attack of the plants began.  But in a moment of cogence, she asks Alma and Elliot–a married couple–which of them is chasing the other.  She knows that relationships are  unequal, that there is always a shift in power, in balance, and she wants to know who is on the chase now.

Elliot raises his hand, and Betty nods, and says she knows it.  His chasing showed.

So that’s it.  Betty’s character goes off into a bizarre and ugly death (sorry.  I spoiled it for you.  Thank me).  The movie ends, and you won’t give a rat’s ass about any of it.

Except that one piece of dialogue. 

There is that power balance, that affection balance, that push and pull of normal life that makes one member of a relationship pull back, the other surge forward.  Sure, there are times of even keel, smooth sailing, equal push and pull.  But not always, not often.  Back and forth, chase and be chased.  Chase back.  Up and down.  This chase can be subtle or huge, something everyone can see.  And it often shows.  It’s possible to look at relationships as Betty did and notice the run down the seashore, one person ahead of the other, the person behind with his arms outstretched.

I recognized this power balance, this back and forth years ago, a couple months into my relationship with my boyfriend, the man who became my husband.  He chased me relentlessly, and then I played chase months later.    And much, much later, I realized I would prefer to be the more loving one, the chaser.  I like to be the lover and not the beloved, though I think it’s natural to move back and forth between the roles.

The idea of the more loving one comes from an old W.H. Auden poem, the one that gave me the courage to chase.

 The More Loving One

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.

How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.

Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.

Thank you Jessica for dropping by to visit us at CK2S Kwips and Kritiques! We are so glad you were able to do this.

Please feel free to visit Jessica at her website.

Reviewed By:

I have been reviewing since 2001 and got started on it completely by accident. That accident turned out to be a blessing in disguise as I discovered a hobby I thoroughly enjoy and an outlet for my opinions about the books I love... or love to hate. Now I don't think I'll ever stop! I live in the DFW area with my three "children" of the four-footed and furry variety, Sheba, Aker, and Amun, affectionately known as cats. I work as an environmental contractor for the Army Reserves, a job I've had since 1997 in which there is never a dull moment and no two days are the same.

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